you're a carnivore
you've devoured me 
I'm walking around like carrion
all you've left of me is bone
and rotting flesh
there's nothing left 
of me to give anymore

I should have known better
but that never helps 
when your velocity was set on me
there was no escaping you
and your magnitude

your appetite so voracious
for everything you see
you took all there was
and moved on to the next
and now there's nothing left of me

I knew you were dangerous
I saw your sharp teeth
but when you retracted your claws and held me
I only saw what I wanted to see

the trail of destruction
you've left in your wake
is just the empty remnants of my body 
consumed and disposed of 

I thought I was enough to satiate your hunger
but I was just a sacrifice to fill an empty void
I wish that I could get up 
walk around with bandaged holes
but this loss is such a burden
because to me you were everything I ever wanted 
 
 
You supposed guru, it's just a joke
You talk of knowing but the reality is you're blind

I'm stronger than you'll ever be, with your I'm so great and your woe is me
I'm braver than you'll ever be, with your refusal to love and your great arms length

I love without limits, while you don't even know how 
You purport yourself to be this great and gentle creature 
But what's really underneath is nothing short of treason 
All I wanted was to believe in your greatness 
But you just kept proving you wrong

You spout your stolen profound words that cannot penetrate your shallow mind
Your manipulations build to immeasurable heights
And your fallacious grandeur crumbles when how you truly are comes to light

With your specious arguments that hold no weight you try to reconcile your odious behavior
You boast of brilliance while you leave everyone behind
You cling to delusional ideals while you brand yourself a master 
With your pomp and attitude, tossing everyone aside

The universe cringes when you speak of unlocking its secrets 
The stars you claim to know, shine down and laugh at you so
The wonders of the world won't bow to a sophist
There is no divinity in you, all you know is how to be cruel

You never understood that an investment in love was an investment in life
And my investment in you was so ill placed, everything I lost is much too great 

You're befuddled and disinterested, you mask your confusion
Your megalomania the key to keeping you afloat 
In your narcissistic pond where you think you walk on water

I will no longer see myself through your eyes, your version of me so askew
I let you do all and make me, that was my own tragic mistake 
But you're betrayal will not define me no matter how hard you tried to keep me down

The truth is I'm the phoenix and you're just the ash
You'll always be trapped in your self imposed cage
While I'm out there flying free
 
 
Manic Pixie Dream Girl

girlish and pining
endlessly trying and trying
eccentric in the ways I've made myself
makeup and dress up
never seeming to tire

I've wanted to be a sentient ray of sunshine
the one you think of and smile
I've wanted to make your world a better place to be in
and pull you out of your mire

I sit and think of all the things I want to say to you
on a cloud, so confused, building up my own fate
there's only one person who's done this to me
only one pair of hands I can blame
there's no use hiding behind veiled illusions
I am the one who set the stakes

I convince myself it's what you need
I built up this unattainable fantasy
I believe that this is how you will love me
so this is all I wanted in this world
just to be your manic pixie dream girl
 
 
Enjoy these memes I made. I hope they make you laugh and brighten your day.

 
 
(Some of my poetry and photography - I hope you enjoy)
_ Who We Truly Are

We are not our choices
We are not our decisions
We are not our flaws
Or our hindrances
These are just the things that make us stronger

We are not our bad habits
We are not our jealousy
We are not our vindictiveness
Or our envy
These are just the things we must learn to rise above

We are not our successes
We are not our appearance
We are not our possessions
Or our net worth
These are just the things that lie around us

We are not our families
We are not our embarrassments
We are not our humiliations
Or our trespasses
These are just the things that make up the past

We must learn to choose the best path
And we must learn to embrace compassion
We must learn to let go of worldly goods
And we must learn to forgive

In our relationships
And in our casual conversations
In our heart felt talks
And in our empathy
In our antipathy
And in our hearts
We find who we truly are


 
 
A few days ago I had an amazing adventure! I got to have a one on one animal experience at the Wildlife Learning Center in Sylmar, CA. Not only did I get to play with a slew of amazing and unique creatures (including an adorable sloth named Lola (one of my favorite animals), I also learned a lot about them. Here are some pictures from my day and also a link to the center's website. Definitely worth a day trip if you're in southern California!
_Are you an animal lover?  Tell me about it in the comments below!

The Wildlife Learning Foundation (WLF) supports the objectives of WLC.  WLF’s primary responsibility is to seek and provide financial support for the Center’s animals and education programs. Ongoing fundraising supports the care of dozens of rescued and rehabilitated animals; covers veterinary care and daily animal care; funds enclosure construction and maintenance; provides school outreach programs; and pays for general operating costs.
Want to help spread the word about the center? Click on the link below. _
 
 
Exciting News! - The lyric video for Christina Perri's song "Distance" is finally out. I made a painting for the video that is featured between 2:23-2:27 minutes in. It is an 8x10 acrylic painting with a pink background that reads "What" - I also used versal lettering to make it more fun. Check out the painting and enjoy the song!

 
 
_(Press play on the main picture to start a slideshow or click on the individual thumbnails to open them up)
 
 
I have recently discovered an enigmatic poem that I cannot stop thinking about. The poem is an elegiac couplet from the Roman poet Catullus, entitled "Odi Et Amo". (Originally written in Latin, I have provided both translations.)
_
Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.


I hate and I love. How can I do this you ask?
I do not know. But I feel it happening, and I am tortured.

In the realm of the human heart I believe there is no logic. "I hate and I love..." I don't know one single person whom at one time or another in their life hasn't experienced this. The complete torment of loving someone so seemingly unattainable that you would do anything for even the slightest hint of reciprocity. Your mind tells you one thing, yet your will continues to forge ahead into trouble - you know it, you are aware of it completely, it is right in front of your eyes - and yet you stay.
  
Below is a song by the artist Elizaveta from her new self-titled EP. It too is entitled, Odi Et Amo - she incorporates lines from the poem along with her own lyrics expanding on the dichotomy of being in love and in anguish. My favorite lines are as follows..."I don't mean to leave it up to fate, Love is just another side of hate...The line between a lover and enemy's grown thin." - just brilliant.

_You told me that you loved me
And kissed me in the street
I felt your arms around me
Like ground beneath my feet
You promised me forever
That wouldn’t have to ask
Your poems were so clever
I never saw your mask
You gave yourself so freely
I couldn’t even see
It wasn’t you, who smiled right back at me

 Odi et amo, odi et amo
Meus carus hostilis
(my beloved enemy)
Odi et amo, Odi et amo
Ego exuro vobis
(I burn for you)

I’m not afraid of darkness that walks the city streets
Betrayal is the one thing
That brings me to my knees
I thought you were an angel
My rescue from this hell
But devil was an actor
Who played his part too well
You vanished in the shadows
And suddenly I knew
That I would give my life to be with you

Odi et amo, odi et amo
Meus carus hostilis
Odi et amo, Odi et amo
Ego exuro vobis

I don’t mean to leave it up to fate
Love is just another side of hate
It’s flowing through my veins
It burns me from within
The line between the lover
And enemy’s grown thin
Too late for this sinner to be saved
Your heart is the mystery I craved

You’re pushing me too far
You’ve brought me to my knees
When pain becomes the pleasure
And torture feels like bliss

Odi et amo, odi et amo
Meus carus hostilis
Odi et amo, Odi et amo
Ego exuro vobis.


Picture




To learn more about Elizaveta you can visit her website by clicking
on the picture to the left - or download her EP on iTunes.

 
 
_Recently, I've become immersed in making these little comics called memes. I hope you enjoy them and they make you laugh. Cause let's face it...we could all use more hilarity in our lives.


(Press play on the main picture to start a slideshow or click on the individual thumbnails to open them up)
 

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