I have recently discovered an enigmatic poem that I cannot stop thinking about. The poem is an elegiac couplet from the Roman poet Catullus, entitled "Odi Et Amo". (Originally written in Latin, I have provided both translations.)
Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.

I hate and I love. How can I do this you ask?
I do not know. But I feel it happening, and I am tortured.

In the realm of the human heart I believe there is no logic. "I hate and I love..." I don't know one single person whom at one time or another in their life hasn't experienced this. The complete torment of loving someone so seemingly unattainable that you would do anything for even the slightest hint of reciprocity. Your mind tells you one thing, yet your will continues to forge ahead into trouble - you know it, you are aware of it completely, it is right in front of your eyes - and yet you stay.
Below is a song by the artist Elizaveta from her new self-titled EP. It too is entitled, Odi Et Amo - she incorporates lines from the poem along with her own lyrics expanding on the dichotomy of being in love and in anguish. My favorite lines are as follows..."I don't mean to leave it up to fate, Love is just another side of hate...The line between a lover and enemy's grown thin." - just brilliant.

_You told me that you loved me
And kissed me in the street
I felt your arms around me
Like ground beneath my feet
You promised me forever
That wouldn’t have to ask
Your poems were so clever
I never saw your mask
You gave yourself so freely
I couldn’t even see
It wasn’t you, who smiled right back at me

 Odi et amo, odi et amo
Meus carus hostilis
(my beloved enemy)
Odi et amo, Odi et amo
Ego exuro vobis
(I burn for you)

I’m not afraid of darkness that walks the city streets
Betrayal is the one thing
That brings me to my knees
I thought you were an angel
My rescue from this hell
But devil was an actor
Who played his part too well
You vanished in the shadows
And suddenly I knew
That I would give my life to be with you

Odi et amo, odi et amo
Meus carus hostilis
Odi et amo, Odi et amo
Ego exuro vobis

I don’t mean to leave it up to fate
Love is just another side of hate
It’s flowing through my veins
It burns me from within
The line between the lover
And enemy’s grown thin
Too late for this sinner to be saved
Your heart is the mystery I craved

You’re pushing me too far
You’ve brought me to my knees
When pain becomes the pleasure
And torture feels like bliss

Odi et amo, odi et amo
Meus carus hostilis
Odi et amo, Odi et amo
Ego exuro vobis.


To learn more about Elizaveta you can visit her website by clicking
on the picture to the left - or download her EP on iTunes.


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